Duramine, Anorexia & Anti depressants.

I'm 21 & work in child protection.

I started using duramine due to my weight gain from the antidepressant pristiq. I was also on a drug Stelazine for my diagnosed Borderline Personality disorder. I'm currently off Srelazine because I have moved out of home and not under the stress of my family (abusive alcoholic father & premenstral teenage girls) which allows me to not feel so psychotic all the time haha. I have also taken my dosage of Pristiq down from 150mg to 100mg. I don't think I'll ever be able to come off it because my anxiety and depression is quite severe, i also destroy every relationship around me when i get close to anyone due to the abuse i suffered as a child. My mother tells me that if i dont fix it now, no matter how 'beautiful' i am, nobody will put up with me. I know its harsh but i know its true. Mental illness & obesity run in my family.

Blah, so that's pretty much the biggest secret I've just publicly displayed haha.

Now to Duramine.
Age: 21
Height: 5'2
Weight: 89kgs.
Initial Duramine dosage 15mg

I know im huge for my height.

Basically before I was on anti depressants I was a healthy size 10 & 65 kgs. The minute I began them.. I grew to 89 kgs!!! I don't even understand how I let myself get this big. I work fulltime & study fulltime, leaving my mind elsewhere.. I guess??

I have always been obsessed with my weight, when I was 15 I was annorexic & 52kgs. The peak of my abuse. Which is why I can't understand how this happened to a person so obsessed with image & appearance?

The only reason I realized that my weight was spiraling out of control
Was due to the snide remarks people were making about me.
I also noticed my clothes were getting tighter & I was snacking a billion times a day on carb loaded foods. I was also abusing my diuretics my old doctor provided me for fluid retention around my period time.

I was also recieving Fat based comments from the children i work wirh.. Kids call ir how they see it so i knew something had to be done. So I went to my doctor & started having a chat.. I explained to him how unhappy I was, how I could not loose any weight from the gym & how obesity runs in my family.

My aim was to get a lap band.. I was determined.. But..

He weighed me, which I made him promise not to tell me the figure, and he handed me a prescription for Duramine.

I was annoyed. I wanted a lapband! And I was positive it wouldn't work. He said to come back in a month and if I hadn't lost anything we would try something more permanent.

I ran to my car & called my gay nursing friend who has been on every weightloss pill possible & told him. He told me that it was a form of legal speed & I would loose weight on it. I was excited.

Then I called mum. Mum told me I'd loose about 10kgs on it.. I was even more excited.

I took this hot little prescription to the Chemist & bang it was my new best friend. I was excited.

Week 1:
The drug didn't kick in for a couple of days.. So I decided to up my dosage to 30mg.. I know your not meant to & I don't suggest anyone to do it.. I'm just an idiot. Then I noticed horrible changes.
I was awake ALL night for the whole week. I was tired but couldn't sleep.. I wasn't remembering anyrhing & people were commenting on my behavior.. I wanted to give it up but thought no.. I don't want to get bigger..
And my appetite had gone one day I ate an apple & had two skin milk hot chocolates.. That was it.. I felt run down but had energy one minute and not the next.. Then. I lost my 15mg pills! I was devastated.. I couldn't afford them again so after four days I ate normally.

Week without magic pills..
Oh my gosh my appetite was back after two days. Not happy. I woke up at 3am and ate a box of chocolates. I ate everything in sight. I realized I needed to get the pills back ASAP after I saw my housemate and they told me they had only seen me in the kitchen all day. I thought owww no, in booking a doctors appt ASAP. My doctors appt was scheduled with a female doctor as my doctor was away in holidays. I explained to the doctor why I upped my dosage and asked for a 30mg tablet instead of 15mg & she agreed after weighing me. I told her I didn't want to know my weight but she told me. My insecurities about my weight finally came to light & I realized I was the equivalent to a beached whale. She said that I was 86kgs and I had lost three kgs. I was shocked. After a week of not eating then a week of eating normally I'd lost weight? I knew I'd put weight on during my week of eating because my tummy was really puffy.. So really, I think I may have lost about 5kga in the first week but I can't be to sure..

Week 2:
Wow, a few nights of not sleeping then a few nights sleeping soundly.. What is going on? I'm eating nothing really & it's great. But I have really bad moods that are pay hitch and angry/depressed which is annoying my housemates and friends. They don't realise I'm on antidepressants or have a mental illness. But they know I'm on duramine and want me to stop after looking it up.. They are gym junkies too and sont believe in weightloss drugs.. I'm not stopping it I'm just staying out of everyone's way and being conscious of what I say & do. I cant be sure if its duramine causing it or my mental illness.. I have been noteably better the last few days & back to myself.. I also have really restless/sore knees! I'm not snacking on bad food.. And I'm only eating when necessary.. I know I can keep it up because I was never a hungry person until I started on antidepressants.. In just a tad worried when I come off them my weight will go boing! But I'll worry about that then.. For now it's about loosing the weight..

It's nice being able to see instant changes.. Like a flat tummy.. No turkey neck & a bra that fits properly no tight bra marks on my skin!

Oh and one more thing, I haven't been excercising as I don't have time with work and study.. But I'm always running around after kids at work.. This drug works without full on excercising.. Wow..

I'll weigh myself in a couple of days and see how much I weigh.. I hope this inspires someone.. I'll keep posting too